Unniposeidon for Head Boy

Hey guys! I noticed that school elections are coming up.

Not really. They’ll probably be held in August.

Hey! Who are YOU!?

I'm your conscience. But we've met before. Haven't we...?

......

Here’s a hint- I love psychology.

ME 3!!! How’d you get here!?

For those of you who don’t know. I was last seen in “Epic Trailer”. Go ahead, check it out. I decided to hang around and annoy you a little longer. From now on, I'm ME 2 and I'm a full time member of team Unniposeidon. And no, you don’t have a say in it.

Fine. Anywhale, I'm not planning out my campaign strategy just yet. In fact, I won’t be coming up with a campaign strategy, because I won’t be contesting at all.

But your cover says.....

I know what it says! But I won’t.

HA! Fraud!

Hey, it’s alright to have misleading covers once in a while. Technically it’s related to the post, only in an opposite way.

I'm in 10^th grade now, which means that I have been in this school for six years already. I'm good at academics, I’ve played interschool sports, and I haven't been in any major mess for the past six years. Talking in class, forgetting homework, but that’s pretty much the only crime I’ve done. I'm also a good orator. Given my profile, I could be a strong contender for the post.

Ha! Narcissist!

SHUT UP! But I don’t plan on contesting. Why? Because of last year. Last year I contested for house captain, I won. [I've mentioned it in my previous post: An Unusual Day. Go ahead, check it out.]

I have a million and one reasons.....

Not really.

Shut it. Anyway, I have plenty of reasons why being a house captain is a pain in the a**. For one, you have to deal with an unruly mob, who are your fellow house members. They will sneer at you and mock you as you try to give orders. You get very tempted to punch them and go all-Batman on them, making them swallow their knee-caps, but you can’t. Like Batman, you have certain responsibilities and moral codes, which include NOT making them swallow their knee caps. Your subordinates have no respect for you, whether you're a condescending a** or a quiet introvert.

I’ll second that, it was a painful phase. By the way, what’s with all the batman references?

Secondly, the jobs you do as a member of the student council are lame. It mainly consists of monitoring the school halls during lunch. As a result, I never got to eat my lunch in peace. Also, as one of the schools watchdogs, you could only control those in classes lower to you. Those of your grade or above just won’t give a f***, so don’t even try.

Apart from being the schools traffic police, you're also responsible for house board decorations. What are they? They’re basically bulletin boards with drawings on it that are replaced every month. Those were the instructions I was talking about. Bringing drawings for the board.

You’d go from class to class, begging kids to bring crappy drawings that no one cares about? Sounds pretty fun.

Thirdly, being in the Council means that you are part of the teachers “scapegoat squad”. A team designed to take the blame for the failure to maintain discipline. Speaking of scapegoats, you also get to take the blame for the failure of your houses.

Last year, when my house was coming practically last in all competitions, my OWN FUCKING HOUSE members spread rumours that instead of working with my vice captain, I was dating her!!! My OWN FUCKING TEAM!

HEY! Watch that mouth!

I can’t help if own team members were....

Are*

....fucking retards! Besides, training the kids is the teachers' job, not ours. They have to deal with that shit! It wouldn't be our job even if we wanted it too!

Well someone’s feeling all bright and jolly today.

*Deep breath*. You see? It is shit like this that makes me understand why Batman works alone.

Again with the batman references?!

...Which is why I resigned last year.

Ahem....

Technically, I was fired...but then I was unfired and.... I’ll just explain.

Principal ma’am wasn’t happy with the discipline in our school, so she questioned the teachers. The teachers in turn, fired the entire Council, like it was our fault. Most of us were pretty relieved that we won’t have to deal with that shit again. But we expected our badges to come back to us once they realize that firing the people responsible for maintaining discipline in our school in order to maintain discipline probably wasn’t the brightest move the school ever did.

No shit Sherlock.

When our badges were taken away, many of us vowed to not accept it back.

Our expectations came true a week later, and I feel disappointed to say that only I kept my vow. Everyone else accepted it like stupid suckers. I swear I was the only one who didn’t take it back.

The fact that someone misplaced your badge did help.

Details are unimportant. Anyway, I sort of quit. And let me tell you, I never regretted it. I’d love to tell you about how I still did a lot of housework and everyone treated me like the captain and how I fought for getting a new house captain (which I picked), but that would sound pretty boasting of me, and I won’t do that.

Ha! NARCISSIST!

You may say that once I'm a house captain I won’t have to put up with lousy house-members. Au contraire, I’ll have to deal with lousy students of ALL houses! The only thing I’ll be relieved of will be board decorations and house competitions. On the downside, I’ll be directly in blame for all lapses in discipline.

Plus, the uniform for a head boy is white, which means that I can’t play sports or I’ll have to be the one to wash my uniform (or pay up for the laundry guy to do it).

So that covers why I WON’T be contesting for head boy. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t intend to discourage anyone from contesting; I'm only here to say as to why I'm not.

..And to take a dump on the schools system.

Yeah, that part was particularly fun. Anyway, if you feel that I'm wrong and that being a prefect has its perks, I will respect your opinion. Though I doubt it will change mine.

WOW. You have no idea how long it took for me to write this post.

Actually, it’s pretty short compared to the six months I took to write another post, but that required a lot of planning.

Since this post was a rant, I needed a certain level of anger to write this post. Frankly, I haven't been given much opportunity to be mad. In fact, I've been delaying this post for a month and a half now, and I'm glad it’s over.

Also, I've decided to stop writing reviews as they are kinda boring to write and therefore, probably boring to read, and I will not allow myself to be an instrument of boredom.

FINALLY! He gets it.

But, I shall be recommending a book or a game or a movie to you in every post. Ready? Begin.

Aww...

Th1rteen R3easons Why by Jay Asher

                                         

My first teen novel that doesn’t deal with rebellion, fighting and an evil government headed by a person dressed in white. It is about a guy who finds a set of tapes in his mailbox, recorded by a girl, explaining as to why she killed herself.

Let me confess, I screamed while reading. Not literally screaming, but rather I was screaming inside. You start to feel like the guy who received the tapes as the story goes on. You cry when he cries, get mad when he does, scream when he screams.

Hold on! You cried?!

No! I cried internally, I definitely wouldn’t cry on the outside. Sure, this book leaves you in pain. But it’s worth reading, multiple times.

Yours in Demigodishness,

Unniposeidon.