The School Basketball Court

Hey guys!  Last time I talked about the types of people on the internet. Well today I'm here to talk about the types of people I have seen on the school basketball court. I love basketball. It has been my all time favourite sport since seventh grade. That being said, I've seen many different types of people play with me, which is why I'm here to describe them. I was inspired to write this post by the Dude Perfect video, “Stereotypes: pickup basketball”. 

https://youtu.be/0gWxHFMog9w?list=PLCsuqbR8ZoiChpZ0rMzLf8aDaJG7ou75n

So presenting, Types of People on the Basketball Court!

“I don't have time for this shit” guy

This is a person who hates getting into arguments. He just gives up and lets them have it. Bullshit foul? “Whatever man.” Now I don't know about most schools, but our school basketball is borderline rugby. You see, basketball is not a very popular sport in India. That title goes to cricket. So most don't know how to play basketball or have knowledge of the rules. So when there is a foul, they’re like “What foul? WHAT FOUL? WHATF**KING FOUL?!” This guy knows better than to argue, which is why he is made captain a lot. Hats off to you, Mr. Nice Guy.

The Laaaaaaaaazy guy

The title says it all. He is LAZY. He just won’t move from his damn place. Most likely, he is fat. He just stands there, waiting for a pass. Defence, what is that? He just won’t even try.     

Won't work in this case man.

  

The short guy

By short, I mean the really short guys. They just freak out when they see someone way taller than them coming to steal the ball. Their shots always get rejected. When they do manage to score, everyone goes nuts. Like supa hot fiya kinda nuts.

Rules? What rules?

You really don't know what to do with this guy. Kicking, pushing, slapping, head butts, he does it all. You want to hit him, but then that would be a foul.

The Rugby Player

This guy tackles you like a truck. His head hits you flat on the stomach. All the air is knocked out of your lungs. You are in intense pain. You fall on the ground. You die.

Wait, ignore that last part. But you always try to get him on your side, because you value your life. 

They fail to see a difference in these sports ......

The only guy who knows the rules, sort of

You have played an interschool match, and that somehow makes you superior to everyone who has not. They all refer to you when there’s a foul. You are the referee-player. Most call you a whining b*tch because you call fouls every few seconds. Being a referee is not the best job you can have; but you have to do it, because you're the only one who has played interschool. D’oh.

The professional guy

This is the guy who can beat you with one arm tied behind his back. He is super skilled. His team always manages to win. He is like....magic. 

The tall guy (who doesn’t play well)

He is tall. He doesn’t dribble well. His shooting skills are shit. But he is very tall. He will reject all your shots. Rebound collection? Forget it if he is next to you. He usually stands next to the basket and keeps shooting. We can’t get the ball because we are short compared to him. His height is a big problem if you're not in his team.

The Shitty Boss

Something like this

This guy thinks he’s the boss. What he doesn't know is that we are tired of him screaming his lungs out and giving orders, especially when he cant even play very well. Every mistake is not his fault, but someone else’s.

The High Guy

This guy is f*cking nuts. I'm talking shot from the half court. Backward shots. Backwards shots from the half court. Thankfully his aim isn’t that good. But when he does shoot a backwards shot from the three point line, everyone goes nuts.

Rage monster

Pretty much

You wouldn’t like him when he is angry. He gets mad if you touch him. So don't, or he will kill you and steal your women, Viking style.

Gay person

Look, I'm not homophobic, but this guy is a creep. Ever heard of surprise buttsex? That's what he does, or at least tries to do so. *shivers*

The One Man Army

He plays solo. He doesn’t even know who his teammates are. He thinks he is the best. He doesn’t realize that basketball is a team sport. Well, screw him.

The Guy in a Relationship

This guy pisses me off the most. One second he’s playing with you, the next second he vanishes simply because he is summoned. Maybe I'm pissed because I'm single, and probably will be for the rest of the year anyway.....

My Love Life........

The Girl

No, I'm not sexist either. In fact, I support gender equality, though I put a stress on the equality part of things. That means men and women should on equal footing in ALL matters. Not just the select few where men are superior. I could go about on this all day, but that shall be another post.

Anyway, at least in my class, in my school, girls don't play quite as well as any of the guy. They get afraid of the ball, have an incapability to dribble, can’t pass fast, have super slow reflexes, can’t steal the ball, start gossiping mid game, and cannot shoot more than 6 feet from the basket.  

Don't get me wrong, I know a few girls who can play well. But I have not mentioned them in this list as for one, they’re a year younger to us and two, they also come under The Rugby Players.

So that's all for today guys. Hope you all enjoyed it and if you did, click that big red +1 button or comment to let me know what you think.

Yours on Demigodishness,

Unniposeidon.