An unusual day

18 June

Today was a day that had its ups, downs and its share of fun. I woke up at the same time as usual, 6:20, to get ready for school. I was still feeling sore over last night’s incident.

What happened was that I had a little stomach trouble last night and papa had ordered chilly chicken for dinner, just my luck……I wouldn’t have batted an eye if they had put my share of it in the fridge, but noo-ooooo, they gobbled it whole.

That’s when I remembered that I had to give my campaign speech today. This year our school is having an ELECTION for the prefectorial council. Till last year the selection method was simple… the principal calls a candidate to her office and interrogates him or her. In the end, she gives up and checks their report card and picks the bloke the best overall percentage.

That’s how I lost the chance to be the VICE captain of my house. I intend to change that this year.

8:15 am, morning assembly

It was time for candidates to give their speech, suddenly the blood supply to my right leg decreased, it felt jittery. I then noticed that most candidates were standing in the center of the stage with a paper in hand and reading it out. That was the stupidest thing people could do, coz when you stand up i the centre.....you got to have a certain confidence.

 Then came the announcement “Now Ashkenaz shall come forward to give his speech”. I walked to the centre [without a paper], took a deep breath and began…………….

Blah blah blah…..  I don’t intend to give the whole speech in my blog. But as soon as I ended, the crowd went berserk.  I raised my arm with a “v”, by doing so I finally found out why politicians do that. It’s just a better way to exit in style. You feel wonderful once you off the stage.

Once I was off the stage, my blood pressure and calm mind were back to normal. well that went better than I expected.

Noon, in class

Okay, so here I am, in class, talking to my friends. Suddenly this big, bulky guy- Karan comes up and takes a pen from me and throws it into the dustbin. Well…Karan loves playing basketball and even in class he takes random peoples stuff and throws it into the trash from across the room. The whole class laughed like crazy.

My thoughts - “Damn you… you can’t one -up me like that… war is on!!!!!”

In half an hour, I got my revenge, and let me say that it had a certain “class” to it.

I asked Karan for a pen, he asked why, with a tone of suspicion, as if his tiny brain was trying to detect something tricky in my statement.

I said “It’s for a magic trick”. He grunted and handed one over. I walked up to the centre, in front of the teacher’s desk and announced “Ladies and gentlemen, how about a magic trick”.

Suddenly twenty two pairs of eyes and ears were aimed at me. Knowing my reputation as a comedian, they knew this had to be good.

Quoting Hearth Ledger from Dark Knight, I continued…” I’m going to make this pen……disappear.” And I tossed it in the trash.

Our class then turned into a madhouse.  Everyone laughed like hell.  The PRINCIPAL had to come to the class to silence us. Well…you get the idea.

And that’s how you take revenge, with style…….

3:30 pm, dispersal time

While I’m packing my bag to go home, my friends Rohan and Vrushal come up to me and say, “Hey the new girl Huma likes you; Anshika [another girl] swears so!! We’ll go bring her now!!” they ran off to fetch her.

I packed my bags even more quickly. Honestly, I have had enough of girl troubles, and the worst part….i never even liked them!!!! These kids have a habit of teasing the smartest boy [ME] the most. If I talk to a girl for more than a minute, I’m doomed. So I avoid such circumstances whenever I can.

When I got out of my class, I noticed that my shoelaces are open, so I hid into a secluded corner of the school and tied them.

As I was doing it, this girl- umm, let's call her nutcase, comes up to me and asks – “who all are in our English project team?”

Well, our English teacher- Maxilin ma’am sorted us into groups and gave us different projects based on the play –“The Merchant of Venice” my group had to do a background study of the play.

So here I am, tying my shoelaces in a secluded corner while dictating names of the members of our seven- member team. Guess what??? The whole group of boys from my class come in and sees us!!!!!

 How I see it- Me tying shoelaces in a secluded corner while dictating names of the members of our seven- member team.

How THEY see it-

COMEEE ONNNN!!!!! THAT'S JUST DUMB

Can you imagine the stupidity? One guy, Mohit shouts- “OH MY GOD ASH!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

I then say “Don’t even think about it”. Mohit grinned and ran around school shouting like a maniac- “Ash proposed to nutcase………blah blah blah.”

Feeling depressed, I left the class, ignoring all the teases. When I reached home, I started to smell funny, perhaps it was the smell of utter dejection. Feeling like I had nothing to do- I took a shower and turned on my facebook  account, immediately one of my friends- Sakshi Gupta in my class  comes online and started to chat with me. Here’s how it went-

s- Hi

Me- hi

s- Wanna her a shocking news?

Me- ya

s-The new girl [Huma] in our class has a huge crush on you
My blood went cold. Vrushal was telling the truth!!!

Me -No shit??@?

s- This whole thing is very secret. She doesn’t want anyone to know.

Me -Um…. Who among girls know??

 s- I’m not sure…

Me- I ask this because it went public today- COURTESY of Vrushal. I thought it was a rumour.

s- Well, it’s no rumour.  She even called you “cute ash”

WTF!!!!!!!!!  I couldn’t believe it. Some girl fell for me on the very first day of school!!!     

Me- do give so some advice

S – Why, are you interested in her?

Me- NOOOOOO!!!!! I have no idea how to deal with this mess I’m in.

s- The best thing to do is to ignore her, if you want.

Me- thanks….. DO ME A FAVOUR AND DON’T TELL HER I KNOW ANYHTING

S-of course, she’d kill me.

Me- thanks
................

s- See you later, bye

Me- bye

The chat went on for a long time... i just gave  the main bit.One thing about Sakshi is that she is the most MATURE friend that I have in school, at least SHE’S isn’t hell bent on teasing me. Most likely, she’s even reading this blog right now.
Right now Huma and i are friends[ish], she denies such a thing ever happening...but i assure you that's what Sakshi told me. Because in case she comes across my blog and decides to kill me, i just want her to know that i have a fair enough alibi.

Back to the topic, my day was pretty bad and uninteresting after that. Every time my mind went back to that certain “revelation”, my stomach would grumble like I haven’t eaten for a week.

At least dinner was good. Remember I told how my family devoured the entire chilly chicken. Well mama made it up for me by ordering it today as well. I even got an extra serving.

And that is how my day went. Being the most interesting day that I've recorded in my diary, I decided to upload it on my blog, renaming it “The Memoirs of a teenage boy”.

The end